I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
