Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
