I accidentally had phone sex last night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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