he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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