There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
