Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
