**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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