"it" just moved
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
