paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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