i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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