the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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