yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
