Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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