All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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