so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
please come you make the beer taste better
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
