No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
