So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
