But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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