So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm really busy with my period
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