Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
