Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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