im drinking this country out of the recession.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
