how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
