Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize