Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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