dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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