Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
