I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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