she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
