This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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