Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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