East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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