ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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