i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ttyl tear gas
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
