Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
