your room smells of hookers.
And success
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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