the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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