I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
