Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
