Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
