Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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