A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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