there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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