The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
