pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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