She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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