so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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