gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
