i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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