evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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