Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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