tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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