He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
