Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I stole a fireplace last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
