Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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