We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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