Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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