Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
