you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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