Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
