also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
