remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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