the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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