What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize