Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
